I can only post the first 30 seconds, but here is a link to iTunes and here are the lyrics:
God who answers prayer
Sees me in my need
Runs to my despair
Your promise I believe
That You Are, You Are, You Are God
Bless the Lord with all that’s within o my soul
I cry out with all that I am make me whole
Here I stand I place all my hope in you
My Healer will see me through
God who answers prayer
Faithful you will be
In my darkest hour
Your promise I believe
My Savior, my God on High
The One who has brought me life
I surrender all that I am
Into your hands, I’m in your hands
Days with Caleb are a very happy (and sometimes messy) affair.
He’s fun and funny. He is all boy. He can make sounds (and smells) come out of almost every orifice. He likes to make farting sounds with his mouth. He dances to Feist and Gnarls Barkley. He LOVES to watch sesame street on youtube and he ESPECIALLY LOVES being smack dab in the middle of everything. He’s learning to talk to everyone on Skype and he really likes to hear his Grandma sing songs to him. She does it because he likes it, even though she feels silly. We feel silly most days, because that’s kind of what babies do to grownups. They remind us that life is a wonderful adventure, if we only stop to look around. . .then when we do, we realize that all the stress and frustrations of our lives are fleeting. It’s a good thing. Spending the day time with Caleb is really great. So is the night time. He sleeps really peacefully most of the time. He just cries every now and then, but is easily comforted and is back asleep in no time. He likes listening to Uncle Mack’s songs as he falls asleep. He also likes watching Uncle Mack sing on Vimeo. I can’t wait until he gets to see it in person. He is going to FLIP and I want to be there to see it.
I’ve always found great comfort in this song. I’m not even sure which part resonates so well with my inner person. Maybe it’s the hopeful sadness? Maybe it’s the acknowledgement that life is sometimes a messy, broken thing? Or maybe it’s that to me, I find hope that other people hurt too. It makes me feel not so alone.
Although I’m having a great and happy time with Caleb, I still hurt for the other baby. It’s in the quiet moments that the emotions come in. Like when I look at Caleb sleeping, or when I’m praying over him that he has good dreams and not bad ones, or when I pray that he’ll grow up knowing that he is a precious child, a chosen one. I cry when I think about how I’ll never be able to share those intimate moments with the other child that I grew to love at a distance over this past year. I so desperately want him to also know that he is chosen and precious. The only solace I find is in knowing that although I am not going to be the one to share those things with him, my God is bigger than me. He can teach him and mold him and love him with arms bigger and more secure than the two I could provide. I believe that the Bible is true when it talks about God’s extravagant love for us. His extravagant love for me. His extravagant love for Caleb. His extravagant love for that sweet little boy in Ethiopia. His extravagant love for you. Tonight I’ve found great comfort in Romans 8 and Psalm 23. I feel like these verses show me that God loves me. And He has a plan. A ‘plumb-line’ true plan.
“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.” (MSG)
“For God’s Word is solid to the core;
everything he makes is sound inside and out.
He loves it when everything fits,
when his world is in plumb-line true.
Earth is drenched
in God’s affectionate satisfaction.” (MSG)
My prayer is that my heart can start to rest in God’s plan. . .His plan where everything fits. I so crave for God’s affectionate satisfaction to seep into my heart and remind me that He is still moving in my life. He’s still working out this salvation within me.
“Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of.”
Meredith recently sent me this link and I can’t stop thinking about Katie, Amazima, and those children. I have no idea what learning about her will do to my life, but right now I’m open, so we’ll see. I challenge you to read Katie’s story and try to walk away the same person.
