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on the edge

Sunday, August 16, 2009

This is where I exist most of the time now.  Teetering precariously between hope and devastation.

Most days I am hopeful.  I would be lying if I didn’t recognize the fact that sometimes this hope is merely optimistic denial, but more often than not takes the form of peace and rest.  A peace that God is at work in my life and in the life of that sweet baby boy.  And a rest that I can find from knowing that not even one ounce of my worry and stress will change things.  I’m not sure where this journey will take me, but I have to believe that whatever happens, God will use it for good. . . but boy, does it make for some awkward conversations.

In Auburn right now there is a great time of reunions.  Sweet friends are moving back-some for school, some for life, some just because.  I ran into one such friend at church this afternoon and she excitedly asked, “AHHHH!!! How’s the baby!!??**”  My heart dropped, she doesn’t know.  Dang.  Breathe.  Blink.  Deep breath.  And now for the awkward and mechanical relaying of the story.  Awkward because I don’t know how not to be awkward when I’m telling someone for the first time and mechanical so I don’t burst into tears.  She cried for me this time.  I saved my tears for later.

A dotcomrade said it well a few weeks ago when he wrote about a difficult time in his life and summed it up  by saying, “So that happened.”  This phrase isn’t a minimization of the event, but rather a recognition that this is the way life goes sometimes.  It’s a journey, a process, a story.  This is my story.

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Chicago, Part I

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Favorites (and also a list of pictures that I did not take):

1. View from the lounge at the John Hancock Building. Really, if I lived in Chicago, I would make it a point to go here at least once a week.

2. Meeting some new friends, catching up with some old ones (Hi Tracey! Hi John!).

3. Running with Alix and the boys along the lake shore (and cheering on the 3 day pink ribbon walkers). Double hi-fives are the best!

4. Watching the waves come in at night at the beach near Jeremy’s apartment.

5. People watching along the Magnificent Mile.

6. Learning how other people in my field are using sustainability in their classrooms.

7. Discovering that there are a good many like-minded souls in my field.

8. Getting free first class upgrades on both flights. (BOOYAH!)

9. Learning from at least 4 different people that Chicago is not called the windy city because it’s literally windy. Rather, it is called the windy city because of all of the “wind” that the politicians of the city blow around. I guess I should have known this from the whole Blagojevich debacle a few months back. Regardless, it was quite windy.

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cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Rules schmules.  I had to come up for air from the Allender book, and a little Sedaris never hurt anyone . . . although it has been known to make them giggle.

Sidenote:  When I was in college, some friends back home played a fantastically annoying game called “TaDAOW.”  Essentially the game went like this: Friend A would call Friend B, yell “TaDAOW” and then hang up.  Then, Friend B would  feel like an idiot until they either reciprocated the “TaDAOW” or were able to pass on the slip to unsuspecting victim, Friend C.  The only way around a “TaDAOW” was to call somebody’s bluff and say “Peace” when you answered your phone.  Obviously you wouldn’t want to say this every time you answered your phone, for fear of sounding like some sort of hippie do-gooder, or worse, a pansy.

All of that was to relay the gravity of the following sentence:

Our friend Chris Carroll “TaDAOW”d Amy Sedaris.

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Golden Nuggets

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Some golden nuggets from The Healing Path, take from them what you will.

“The core of love is the capacity to offer ourselves to others—to bless them with our presence and our gifts.  The dance of love calls us then to be open to receive from others gratitude and the gift of their presence in return.  Ambivalence kills this reciprocal movement of praise and forgiveness that fives, receives, and glories in the wonder of our capacity to touch each other”

“Having open arms implies looking into the eyes of the other with a welcoming delight.  As odd or nearly impossible as it may seem, we are to welcome our times of trouble as we would greet a friend who has been gone a long time.  We are to greet trials with joy (James 1:2) and to rejoice when suffering comes (Romans 5:8).  Why?  Because suffering sets into motion our will to find meaning; it compels us to honestly assess the facts of our lives and being to order truth into a framework that has personal meaning to us.  We cannot have a sense of purpose or a deep understanding of what we’re created for unless we encounter the kind of pain that compels s to rise above the daily domain and recollect who we are.  Pain enables us to discover ourselves.”

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Chicago

Monday, August 3, 2009

So I’m going to Chicago this weekend to do some stuff for work and also for fun.  As much as I’ve moved around this lil’ ole’ planet of ours, I’ve never made it to Chicago . . . kind of a tragedy now that I think about it.  However, it is a small tragedy that shall be remedied very soon.

That said, I’m all ears for any suggestions on things to do, places to go, etc.

Oh, and the Cubs aren’t playing while I’m there (sniffle, tear).

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On a more serious note

Monday, August 3, 2009

1st of the “stuff” books makes an appearance:

On the back cover in bold letters:

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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summer book brigade, part I

Sunday, August 2, 2009

First up:

Finished this book the other day (confession: I started this whole adventure a little over a week ago).  I must say that this book made me love Bono even MORE than I already do.  And Chuck, if you ever read this, I think he is the for real.

This book also made me laugh quite a bit.  And although I don’t recommend it if you are easily offended by the f-bomb, I do recommend it if you love music, culture & also enjoy reading stories and commentary on everyday, bizarre, and totally imagined life.  Klosterman has this really unique way of writing that makes you feel like the two of you are just hanging out somewhere shooting the breeze and he’s entertaining you with tales of his wacky friends.  The only difference from this and when my other friends tell stories, is that when Klosterman’s telling a story, he’s talking about his wacky ridiculously famous friends, and most of my friends are not ridiculously famous . . . or at least not yet.

Second to bat:

So my mom was visiting this week to help me clean my house and sterilize it from MRSA infection that manifested itself on my rear last week . . . it was a pain in the butt, LITERALLY.  She pretty much cloroxed every square inch of cloroxable space in my home . . . about 900 times.  And although the smell about killed me, I did appreciate that the little germs of Hades have approximately -99.09234% chance of living in my house for the next, oh say, 10,000 years.

On this trip, mom also brought furniture for me to set up in the guest bedroom (THANK YOU LEONA!!). When I started reading this book, we hadn’t yet purchased the mattress set for the new bed, so mom and I slept together on my freshly bleached and laundered bed linens.  Mom was already asleep when I came to bed and started reading and LAUGHING.  I was laughing so hard while also trying to stay quiet (which any rational human knows is a hopeless cause) that my whole body started shaking and I had to get out of the bed because I couldn’t keep it in any more.  Oh gosh, do I LOVE me some Anne Lamott.

I won’t spoil this book for you by going into story details, but all I’ll say is read it.  I hope you laugh as much as I did (or more!)

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summer book brigade

Saturday, August 1, 2009

A few weeks ago a friend recommended some books to me to help me deal with all of the “stuff” in my life right now.  “Stuff” being the operative word for grief, a word I’m trying to tread lightly around these days.  Anyhoo, I went a little crazy on Amazon.com (as I have been known to do on occasion) and decided that I wanted to spice up my reading with a few fun books too.  I mean life can’t be all pain and tears right?  Laughter truly is the best medicine sometimes.  But this fun comes with stipulations.  Although I’m not a fan of rules, stipulations make things seem just a little more interesting . . . or at least more interesting than perhaps they might be if you lived your life in a small box at the bottom of a hole.

That said, here is the official list of the the Summer Book Brigade’s “Summer Stipulations Because it’s Summer and Summer is Awesome”:

1. One must order lots of random books on Amazon.com
2. Said books must range a broad spectrum of literary funness
3. There must be a smattering of “how to deal with stuff” books, just to keep one (i.e. me) moving forward
4. All books must be read in their entirety in the order that they arrive in one’s mailbox (exceptions may be made if too many books of the #3 kind arrive all on the same day)
5. Read, read, laugh, cry, read, read, & read some more!

Let the games begin!

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dear facebook

Friday, July 31, 2009

I take it back.  I still don’t like you.

Sorry Rachel (and everybody else) I just can’t bring myself to be a facebooker right now.  Until then, just pick up your phone and call me!  Or better yet, hop on over & visit in person!  (that’s the best)

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Lil’ Ole Auburn

Monday, July 27, 2009

So I’ve been on a bit of an Auburn high recently.  Especially since we made US News and World Report’s “Top 10 Best Places to Live in America” list last month.  Although I moved here kicking and screaming a few years (read: almost FIVE!!!) ago and was pretty sure that when I moved here I was killing the small semblance of a social life I had amassed in my brief stint in our nation’s capitol (I even threw a “Katie’s Moving to Ala-freakin’-bama” party with my friends in DC). For the most part I was right . . . for about 6 months.  And then, slowly but surely I managed to amass some of the most incredible friends, found an amazing church (that is also keen on making a few top ten lists of their own), and fell in love with my profession.  I’m also learning that there are a lot more people out there than I thought that also think our little corner of the world is pretty special.  Just this weekend I went to a rain barrel work shop (more on that later) and learned that the Southeastern watershed is the #3 place in the world for aquatic biodiversity.  We’re second to the Amazon and the Mekong delta.  Who knew?

Anyway, all of that is to say, I really LOVE living here AND I NEVER thought I would say that.

So, why you ask, do I love living in one of the most underwhelmingly unique places on this continent? Well, the longer I live here, the more I realize how special this place really is, and more specifically, how special this place is to me.  Given all of the self-validating statements of why living here in Alabama is pleasant, truth is, I just like it here.

I like it because I feel like I can either walk or ride my bike anywhere I want to go.

I like it because I was able to go to a rain barrel workshop this weekend with 25 people in an arboretum and got to sit beside a retired peach farmer’s wife.

I like it because one of the newer restaurants in town is called “Ahi” and their sign boasts “Asian and American Cuisines and Barbecue.”

I like it because the phrase “just lay it in the sun or spit on it and that usually does the trick” is not an uncommon phrase.

We’re Southern here.  We like fried chicken and sweet tea.  AND if you live in Auburn, you’ll discover that we REALLY like fried chicken FINGERS.  Lots and lots of them.

We’re also friendly.  Really, really friendly.  Not many dark and brooding types here (although we do have some).

I also love our local festivals.  Like the Loachapoka Syrup Sop on October 20nd (and that’s not a typo, it’s what the sign says.  Scout’s Honor.) where you can get a syrup soppin’ smile for absolutely free!  Another is the Old 280 Boogie where the town of Waverly celebrates being bypassed.  It’s as fabulous as it sounds.  Really, it is.

So, you see, this place is pretty great.  Although I moved to DC in 2003 to “find myself” in the city, I think I actually have discovered more of what I’m made of here in lil’ ole Auburn.  So come-on over now and we’ll have ourselves a whole heap a’ fun!

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