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we love breakfast foods

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Slurp

The Smile

The Aftermath

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let me tell you what God did

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I’m still processing this whole thing. The miracle-wonder that happened to our precious little family last week. I know I’ve posted this a few times already, but a few months ago God gave me Romans 4 as a vision of what He was going to do for my family:

13-15That famous promise God gave Abraham—that he and his children would possess the earth—was not given because of something Abraham did or would do. It was based on God’s decision to put everything together for him, which Abraham then entered when he believed. If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract! That’s not a holy promise; that’s a business deal. A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect. But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise—and God’s promise at that—you can’t break it.
16This is why the fulfillment of God’s promise depends entirely on trusting God and his way, and then simply embracing him and what he does. God’s promise arrives as pure gift. That’s the only way everyone can be sure to get in on it, those who keep the religious traditions and those who have never heard of them. For Abraham is father of us all. He is not our racial father—that’s reading the story backward. He is our faith father.

I’m not going to lie. I was terrified when I had to get on that plane on May 24th, not knowing the outcome of Ephraim’s adoption and afraid to meet and fall more deeply in love with a son who I knew God placed in my heart but wasn’t sure if He was going to place in my hands. But something changed in my heart and in my spirit when mom dropped me off at the airport and I was crying, and Caleb was crying, and even buddy dog was crying . . . I remembered God’s original promise to me, “Do this, and I will take care of you.” Somehow my fears began to slough off as I began to let go of the outcome of this journey and focus on the One who brought me to it. In counseling over the past few months,  my talking person (kudo’s to Ms. Bausch for introducing me to that phrase) walked me through the emotional tangles of this whole process and helped me work towards a place of peace with God and His way of working in this situation.

But back to my original intent of this post, I want to tell you what God did. You see a few weeks ago I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. As I got to work that morning, I received an email from my agency that had the following words in all caps: IMPOSSIBLE, NO, IMPOSSIBLE!!!  . . . all in reference to the police letter that Ephraim’s case needed for federal court (i.e. the one document standing in between him becoming my son). In case you aren’t up on your adoption lingo, these words are never good in international adoption correspondence. They usually are a precursor to even more bad news (as in the prior two times I lost my son), which generally means the adoption is closing and here’s the rubber stamp that’s going to put Katie Brock back in counseling for an indefinite period of time. I cried a lot that day. But then, while I was sleeping, God performed a miracle and a 10:08 am the next morning, I received this in my inbox:


Yes indeed.

It’s the missing police letter.

It’s God doing what He said He would do.

It’s the miracle that makes Caleb, Ephraim, & I a We.

 I truly cannot wait to bring him HOME to see what God has in store for his miracle-wonder life.


We love you buddy, hang in there, your momma & brother are coming to get you as soon as we can!!

 

 

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he’s a keeper

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

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roller coasters, guns, & kids

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Last week I watched a new tv show and in one of the first scenes a character came to work with a gun. After the gun’s appearance, several characters casually mention that a gun that appears in the first act, always shows up in the third. So, I guess the beginning of the first act is a good place to start this story.  This adoption journey began in May of 2007 with a simple prayer asking God to tell me what my response should be to seeing a video about the child soldiers in Uganda . . . and God said, more clearly than anything in my life, “You will be their mother.”

HOLY CRAP.

If you substitute crap for a more  inappropriate word, you might actually get closer to what first when through my head when this happened. And then after that I felt completely insane and started my Jonah moment where I argued with God and his request to use such a vessel as me to do this huge thing. And if I do say so myself, my guns were totally loaded. God, I’m just a graduate student. I only made $12,000 last year and adoptions cost well over $25,000. I don’t have a real job. I’m not even married God, certainly you would never ask me to do such an impossible thing as a single person. And so the wrestling began.  In keeping with my character, I was as stubborn as ever. In keeping with God’s character, He was as persistent as ever. It took several months and a 40-day fast for me to finally realize that no, I wasn’t crazy and yes, God had spoken to me with very specific instructions.  It was during the fast that I began to understand some of what Jesus was communicating to mankind in the Sermon on the Mount. It was also during this time that God communicated with me, as clear as day,

“Do this, and I will take care of you.”

And so it began. In August of 2007, I started to work towards a local adoption, because I figured that I should start in my own backyard . . . but that door was quickly shut by Lee County DHR. Ok, God, I get it, I need to think bigger. And then out of the blue a cousin called and said her friend knew of a sibling group in Atlanta that was looking for a home. Oh cool, I thought. When God closes a door He opens a window right? Yeahhhhh, not so much. After two play dates with the precious children, I was in the process of contacting a lawyer and figuring this whole adoption thing out when the kids were moved into a very different situation and were no longer moving towards adoptability. Well that sucks, I thought. I guess that means I should look even bigger. Maybe internationally?

Little did I know.

I think back on my naivety during this time with a fondness only reserved for oneself during a time of exceptional simplicity, and only available WAY after the fact. With my 20/20 hindsight I can see God moving in my story and the story of my family. He was waiting on the perfect moment. For me to be ready and for the child to be, well, born. He was probably laughing at my do-it-yourselfness just biding His time for His big reveal. That moment when I would FINALLY realize that all this spinning and moving that I do actually doesn’t DO anything, except maybe exhaust me.

 

 

 

And the curtain raises for the third act. Or rather, last Tuesday. When I got to work on said Tuesday, I went through my normal, get coffee, set the mood, check email. I wasn’t expecting what came next.

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Hello world!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Welp, our family just got a lil’ bigger!

World, meet my miracle son, Ephraim.

 

Hallelujah!

 

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cute meets uke

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

 

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terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I hate politics.

I hate local politics, I hate national politics, and I hate all of the politics in between. AND I especially hate that politics are standing in between me and my son being able to be a family. I got some bad news today about the police letter that I need in order for my son’s case to be official. Last week I was told that the letter had been made and just needed a signature and stamp. “Well that sounds easy,” I naïvely thought to myself.

I should have known better.

This morning I was told that because of politics between the officials in Addis and the officials at the local level (who have to release the police letter), that my letter hangs in the balance.

Which means that my family hangs in the balance.

Sometimes when I get news like this, I wish I could throw a temper tantrum like Caleb does and stomp my feet, cry, and scream at the top of my lungs. But I know I can’t and I also know that it wouldn’t do any good. So back on my knees I go . . . petitioning the Lord to intervene and perform a miracle.

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mix tapes & a bit more about me

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A friend and I are in the process of a really interesting dialogue related to planning our futures and as a part of it, I thought I would open up a few more bits of myself to you. Mainly because I want to begin sharing parts of my new journey towards minimalism and share with you what I’ve learned as I’ve begun to rid my life of clutter & stuff in an attempt to learn to release myself from the grips of a consumerist lifestyle. I also want to begin sharing more parts of my life aside from my family and my adoption journey. So here goes. Here’s my list of skills, interests, & what I lovingly refer to as “the weeds”. This list is by no means exhaustive or all inclusive, nor are these in any particular order. Rather, this is a first pass at me trying to concisely communicate where I see myself fitting in the world.

Skills
Assimilating large amounts of information concisely
Networking and befriending others
Global perspective
Interdisciplinary background


 

Interests
Minimalism
Rich living
Living by faith
Travel
Spending quality time with family & friends
Flexibility
Health & Fitness
High quality of life
Social Justice
Work hard/play harder
Growing a business
Working from anywhere in the world
Diversity in my day to day life
Interactivity
Leaving a positive legacy impact

 

 

The Weeds
I believe that Jesus is who he said he was
My faith in that fact is an integral part of who I am
My son is the most important person in my life
My relationships with friends and family are what gives me great purpose and meaning
I really enjoy writing and presenting new ideas
I like the idea of controlling my own destiny and reaping the benefit of my hard work
I could see myself really enjoying building a company that has both a planned social impact as well as a personal financial impact
I enjoy the idea of being in control of my day to day schedule
I think and work most clearly at night but am learning to be a morning worker
I absolutely love good wine and dark, single-source chocolate and would love to be involved in those industries if the opportunity strikes
Finding and maintaining balance is integrally important (and directly related to) my overall happiness
Exercise, eating whole foods, and having a good work/life balance are all key to this overall balance
I am most content when I’ve had a full and productive day surrounded by those I love
I find a great deal of peace and rejuvenation through finding time for inner solitiude . . . and I can experience this solitude in a crowded room
I listen to music all. the. time.
I personally believe that having a sound track to one’s day can make it or break it
I believe that making a thoughtful mix tape is one of the most vulnerable things you can share with someone (platonically speaking)

 

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INFP meets ENFJ

Monday, June 13, 2011

. . . and it is a match made in Heaven. Literally.

 

INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)

“Taking Everything to Heart”

Because INFPs represent such a small percentage of the American population, they naturally feel alone and a bit out of step with our bustling, pragmatic, and product-oriented society. Typically INFPs struggle to find their niche in the world of work and in society as a whole. Since most INFPs don’t feel comfortable in traditional organizations, especially businesses, they spend much of their early careers trying to fit in where they clearly do not. Instinctively, INFPs know they are different; they’ve felt it all their lives.  Understanding how and why they are different is a validation of their uniqueness and they usually feel better about themselves as a result of learning about their type. Many INFPs find the framework and language of Type also helps them deal with tensions and conflicts and reduces misunderstandings between their friends . . .

INFPs  need to know that their values and feelings are legitimate and that the people they care about and love them in spite of the roller coaster of emotions they often ride. Unconditional love is as important to these [people] as water and air . . . Teaching INFPs to communicate their opinions and beliefs even in the face of criticism, negativity, skepticism, or direct confrontation helps them to grow to have faith in themselves and become assertive about their beliefs . . .

At their best, INFPs are deeply faithful and compassionate people with strong convictions and great empathy. They are creative, visionary, and inspired problem solvers and original and alternative thinkers. With support and encouragement, INFPs grow up to trust their inner voice, confidently living the sometimes alternative, artistic, or spiritual life to which they are called. (Excerpts taken from Nurture by Nature)

More on INFPs

ENFJ (Extravert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)

“A Thousand Watts of Enthusiasm”

Enthusiasm is perhaps the most obvious and consistent trait young ENFJs share. They are eager and ready to face the world with a smile at all times. They are energetic and excited about playing with other children or abut interacting with adults, provided they feel safe and supported by a nearby parent. Young ENFJs often smile easily at strangers and seem to understand the power of a flirtatious look . . .

While it is obvious that all children need abundant love, acceptance, and support to grow and thrive, ENFJs can’t live without it. They need their parents to listen to their opinions and beliefs and to know that they are accepted as legitimate and important if they are to develop their full measure of self-esteem . . . ENFJs who feel free to express themselves without fear of rejection, embarrassment, or criticism grow up confident, accepting of others, and responsible for themselves . . .

At their best, ENFJs are loving, genuine, and empathetic people with great personal charm and warmth. Their natural compassion and global view of the world can make them charismatic and inspiring leaders. ENFJs can have enormous and productive creative energy and the enthusiasm and commitment to complete the projects they care about. They can motivate and encourage others to reach their own highest potential. When encouraged to trust themselves and their values, they become healthy, strong, open-minded adults, with a huge capacity for kindness and generosity. (Excerpts taken from Nurture by Nature)

More on ENFJs

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confide entirely

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I came across this quote the other day and it made me stop and think and wonder if the same is true in my life? I’ve given it a good thinking for the past several days and  I’m still not sure.  I think for me the faith part has certainly been a growing and a stretching as I had no idea I would need God as much as my entire being relys on Him these days. I tend (*cough) to be extremely independent. Those who know me well can testify to this. Those who know me even better know how I asked for an alarm clock for Christmas when I was 4 so I could wake up all by myself.  Or how I wanted my mom to teach me how to ride a two wheeler, but she was busy with something and told me she could come outside in 30 minutes.  I’m not sure how long it took me, but it was less than thirty minutes when my sass-a-frass five year old self marched back in our house and announced that there was no need for her to come, I had already taught myself. Whew! Mom, Dad, I have no idea how you survived me, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be eternally gradeful to Dr. James Dobson for surviving my childhood. That said, independence and reliance on anything or anyone or God doesn’t necessarily come as easily to me as it may to others.

But God knows this. He made me, and when He did, he knew that my fierce ‘can do’-ed-ness would help me to accomplish a great many things on this to do list called life. It would also help me survive some pretty gnarly experiences and navigate difficult relationships with resiliency and grace. BUT He also knew that I would take a big kick in the pants with this adoption, and that I would feel defeated, and hopeless, and lost, and a million other emotions all at the same time.  And that I would need to learn to rely on Him. Sometimes that’s through a friend, sometimes that’s through prayer, sometimes a quiet moment by the sea; nonetheless, these sometimes moments all began to add up and little by little He drew out of me a characteristic that was quite uncharacteristic of me-reliance in the form of faith.

I’ve learned to really believe the Bible when it says that God will care for me, that he knows the plans He’s laid out for me–that there are plans in the first place.  I’ve also learned that God really does use problems and pain as a refining fire on our lives.  I’m here to testify that it is no fun at all. But by showing me glimpses of His story, I’m learning to lean on Him, and turn over the keys to my life. You see, if the adoption had gone through in July of 2009, I would never know the joy of having Caleb in my life. I also wouldn’t have ever (most likely) ever considered adopting two children as a single 30 year old mom.  I can see a bigger story, and for that I am so thankful. It shows me glimpses of light on my path that has been dark for so, so long. I like to imagine these as glimpses as tealights hanging from the forrest trees as I walk by them.  Giving off just enough light for me to make it a little bit further down the path, but not enough for me to see the entire journey.

So here I am tonight. Sitting at my computer after a great weekend of playing with Caleb, expectantly waiting for the paperwork to come through for my other son and to get the call that says, come, he is waiting for you. I believe it will come.  But I also believe that God is in ultimate control of this situation and that I can rest in knowing He knows what I do not.  I do not know the when of all of this, and yet, somehow, my control-freak-esh-ness is not freaking out. I think this is a gift. The peace that I feel is truly a gift from the Lord.  It is a peace I have not known for a very, very long time. I welcome it like a warm blanket and a good book on a cold winter day.

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